


home on the range

by starkly



Series: you've been thunderstruck [11]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Cowboys & Cowgirls, Horses, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:20:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28233063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkly/pseuds/starkly
Summary: The ranch hand is dressed like he belongs on the cover of some romance novel where a ditzy city girl ends up on a farm for a week and is swept off her feet by the competent, sexy yet wholesome farmhand. And by God, Tony wishes he were a ditzy city girl right now.
Relationships: Tony Stark/Thor
Series: you've been thunderstruck [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2064666
Comments: 3
Kudos: 47





	home on the range

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for NaNoWriMo 2020 and [posted here](https://aleator.tumblr.com/post/634649290095067136) on my tumblr writing blog. This fic was proofread before being uploaded here but is otherwise unchanged.
> 
> Prompts taken from the AU-gust 2020 challenge list on Twitter. Day Eleven: Farm/Ranch AU.
> 
> This was basically written solely for straight up hot cowboy Thor time, and also to further my Tony Is Afraid of Horses agenda.

Tony frowns and squints against the bright Montana sun, bringing up a hand to shade his eyes. “When I said set up a company retreat, I didn’t mean for you to include me.”

“You said a work retreat for company leadership,” Pepper replies, seeming unfazed by the sun despite her pale complexion. “And you are part of the company leadership, for better or for worse.”

“It could have been a wellness retreat. A spa.”

Instead they’re at an honest to God ranch, one that’s supposed to promote team synergy and whatever other bullshit buzzwords they put in the brochures. All Tony knows is that there are horses around, and where there are horses, that’s a place Tony doesn’t want to be.

“Getting massages and mud masks doesn’t help improve leadership skills,” Pepper says.

Tony pouts outright now. “But I’d be happier about it.”

He never gets to hear why he doesn’t deserve to be happy or whatever rejoinder Pepper was planning to come back with because the owner of the ranch comes out to greet their group, and he and Pepper have to be polite and professional as everyone is introduced. The man in the oversized cowboy hat proceeds to tell them all about the ranch and what they’ll be doing here this weekend, but Tony isn’t paying attention anymore. He’s too busy ogling a cowboy.

Or at least he thinks the guy’s a cowboy, even though he’s missing the silly hat like the ranch owner has. No, this guy just emanates pure countryside ruggedness--and he’s also got cowboy boots on, which Tony doesn’t think anyone’s ever looked as good in as this guy has. Moving up from the boots, the man’s dusty, tight-fitting blue jeans and unbuttoned flannel shirt over a tight white t-shirt make him look like he belongs on the cover of some romance novel where a ditzy city girl ends up on a farm for a week and is swept off her feet by the competent, sexy yet wholesome farmhand.

God, Tony wishes he were a ditzy city girl right now.

He’s rudely interrupted from his intricate daydream by a pinch to the arm, and he looks around in confusion. “Sorry, what?”

“We’re splitting into two groups,” Pepper tells him in a way that implies this has been said several times already. “You’re in charge of one, I’m taking the other.”

“Right. Groups. Tally ho.”

They divide up into two groups and a spunky young lady in another cowboy hat comes over to take Pepper’s group away. Pepper and Tony have a brief non-verbal conversation with their eyes wherein Pepper tells Tony to behave before she’s whisked away with her group. Tony grins, but his gloating is short-lived when he sees the sexy romance-cover cowboy walking over to his group and greeting them with an enthusiastic wave.

“Howdy, everyone,” the tall, beefcake ranch hand says. “I’m Thor, I’ll be your guide for today. Now, who here’s ever ridden a horse before?”

Oh, no. He’d always wanted to go out in a blaze of glory. Instead he’s going to die of embarrassment on the back of a pony.

A couple members of the group have apparently been horseback riding before, which distracts Thor for a little while and almost gives Tony a chance to escape. Unfortunately, some of the other ranch employees arrive and lead them over to the corral where they do the beginner horseback riding exercises, and Tony is forced to go along with them while Thor explains the basics about horses and saddles and a bunch of stuff Tony fails to internalize. Then they get to go see the horses, and Tony lingers near the back of the group. He’s going to kill Pepper for making him come to this.

“Everything okay?” someone next to him says, and Tony jerks his head up and looks around, startled to find Thor right there beside him.

“Horses don’t bite, right?” he blurts out. Dammit, what the hell was that?

“Not unless you’re planning on feeding one your fingers,” Thor replies with an amused look on his face. “Don’t worry, we only bring out the well-trained bunch for the retreat groups. They’re all real sweethearts.”

“Don’t think I’d ever call a horse a sweetheart, but right. Okay.”

Thor still looks far too amused for Tony’s tastes. “You don’t have to be nervous, Mr…”

“Stark. You can call me Tony.”

Thor’s smirk gives way to surprise. “Tony Stark?”

Tony shrugs. “I’m really only here because my PA made me.”

“Well, let’s see if we can’t make you feel better about the horses at least,” Thor says confidently, getting back in his groove pretty quick. “Come on, I’ll help you out.”

The last thing Tony wants is for the hot cowboy guy to see him be afraid of a horse, but he follows him over to a chestnut-colored mare that Thor says is named, creatively, Chestnut.

Tony snorts. “Who came up with that one?”

Thor stares blankly at him and Tony instantly stammers, “O-oh, I didn’t mean--”

Thor breaks out into a grin and nudges Tony in the shoulder. “I’m only kidding. I would never,” he says, laughing. “Why don’t you pet her to start?”

Petting a horse seems like a daunting task, but Chestnut is just standing there, and Thor is watching him, so he can’t fail step one without feeling like even more of an idiot. Thor even reaches out and pats Chestnut’s neck without any adverse reaction from Chestnut, so Tony reaches out too and does the same, carefully petting Chestnut’s neck.

“See? That wasn’t so bad,” Thor says with an encouraging smile, so bright and earnest that Tony is determined to do whatever Thor asks of him. “Now how about I show you how to ride her?”

Tony’s sweating metaphorical bullets at the prospect, but there’s that smile again, and Tony nods. If Thor thinks he can do it, then he can do it.

An hour later, he’s proven that he can’t do it.

All he’s proven is that he can fall off a stationary horse in such a way that requires he be carried princess-style to the first aid station by the world’s sexiest and most understanding cowboy. While this is very on point for the hypothetical romance novel protagonist he’s created in his head, it’s not a great look for Tony Stark, CEO.

Thor is being a good sport about it at least, even if he keeps trying to hold back his laughter.

“It’s just a sprain,” he announces, finishing his careful check of Tony’s ankle. “Not too bad either. You’ll just have to be careful for a couple days.”

Tony sighs deeply, watching Thor wrap up his ankle with an elastic bandage from the first aid kit. “So much for the amazing synergy-building business retreat.”

“Look on the bright side,” Thor says, glancing up at him with a smirk. “Now you don’t have to ride a horse. And there’s other activities you can join in on.”

“You think this is funny, huh?”

“A little bit,” Thor admits. “Okay, how about this bright side then? You can hang out with me more.”

“Oh yeah?” Tony grins. “Now that’s a synergy-building exercise I can live with.”


End file.
